HER VOICE PART III

HER VOICE PART III

The next morning, I was cheerful on the prospect of meeting her. I had my hopes high, trying to dispel the obscure ideas of the last night. I called her at 11 o’ clock.

“Hello” a husky male voice answered the phone.

The voice struck me as a clout. I was so used to her voice, it never occurred to me what would happen if she doesn’t answer the phone.

I gathered my strength,

Amit: Excuse me, but where is Liza, the girl who always answers this phone.

“Sir, I am sorry but she won’t be able available anymore.”

Amit: “Why?” my inners seemed to crunch.

“Sir, she… she…uh, she passed away last night.”

I was numb. My senses seemed to avert from everything. Everything was in slow motion. My face had blanched. My ears were filled with a perpetual ringing. I must be dreaming, it’s just a nightmare, I thought. I started waiting for the dream to end. At any instant, I would wake up and everything would be normal. I would listen to her again, it would help me forget this nightmare. But why does everything seem to be so real? Is this really a dream? I wondered. I do not know for much time I sat there, waiting, waiting for the sun to rise and for the night to end so that I could call her. She had promised to meet me. I have to tell her that I love her, that I want her to be with me, forever. But why am I still dreaming? Why can’t I get up from this formidable sleep?

Rahul: What did you do?

This is all part of the dream, I thought. My own brain was trying to fool me, I chuckled.

Rahul: Jyoti… “she committed suicide, what did you do?”

Jyoti, that name is familiar….. Oh yes, I remembered, Jyoti, my friend.

Rahul: “Are you even listening to me? She took an overdose of sleeping pills, the milkman found the door open today morning. And you are the reason she did this, why didn’t you explain to her? Everyone is here, even the police……”

Jyoti was a nice girl, I thought. But it was not my fault that she loved me. I was already committed to Liza. Soon, we are going to meet and I am going to tell her how I feel about her.

“…..  What has happened to you? Why are you so still?”

Hmmm, I have heard that name. Of course, that was the place where Liza worked. Liza, her voice….

I love her voice.

Jyoti was pretty.

But I know it seems weird to send a letter to you, but I didn’t have the courage to tell you what I am going to say.

I sensed, somewhere, that enthusiasm was missing in her. I knew something was up.

Do you share the same feelings for me?

Does she feel the same about me?

I love you.

Amit: Rahul, I love her.

Everyone here in the office use to calls me Liza,

What’s her name anyway?”

“LIZA”

“What? Aargee?”

Liza…. Aargee….. Jyoti…..

I was wrong. The nightmare did not end, it had just started.

“Nooooo……!!”

NEXT DAY:- A Shocking double suicide took place in the region. A girl, Jyoti committed suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills, whereas her friend, Amit, took his own life by drinking pesticide. This seems to be a gruesome coincidence as their deaths doesn’t seem to be related. No suicide notes were found in either house.

PS: This post is the continuation of ‘Her Voice’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part & 2nd Part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/her-voice-part-i/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/her-voice-part-ii/

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Her Voice Part II

Her Voice Part II

That evening, Rahul came back to my place, to try to convince me again. But this time I already had a lead.

Rahul: You asked her out?

Amit: Yes.

Rahul: And she said yes?

Amit: Hmmm

Rahul: That’s fine then. But you will promise me one thing, if she is not your type, you will forget her

I nodded but I didn’t say yes. Maybe I could forget her, but will I ever be able to forget her voice. Its imprints would always remain on my mind. Nothing in the world mattered to me more than her voice.

I was brought back to reality by the doorbell. The postman was standing with a letter in his hand.

Rahul: I will get it…. Hey, it’s from Jyoti

Amit: Why would she send me a letter I told myself.

Rahul: Who knows, but pretty girls have a right to do anything.

Well, Jyoti was pretty. In fact she was one the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. We had known each other for two years, We use to be good friends but our interaction started getting limited in the last few days, because I spent my entire free time, either thinking about Liza! or remembering her voice.

I opened the letter, but I had no idea what it was about.

Dear Amit

I know it seems weird to send a letter to you, but I didn’t have the courage to tell you what I am going to say, face to face, or on phone. Amit, we know each other for two years, but I do not why, every time I see you, I feel something else. At first I thought it was mere infatuation but I am still not able to convince myself, not able to believe, not able to lie to the fact that I am in love. I never thought this would dawn on me someday and I would have such feelings. I first thought that I shouldn’t take the first step, but then how could I tell you how I feel. Endless questions kept running through my mind, how will you react, do you share the same feelings for me…… but one thing was certain, I love you and only this thing gave me strength. It’s so easy to love someone but so difficult to express it and that’s why I am writing this letter…. I don’t know what to expect….

Regard

Jyoti

“Dude” It was Rahul’s voice which brought me back from the shock.

“I… oh this is ridiculous!”

Rahul: “What? Are you in your senses Arnav? This is Jyoti we are talking about.”

Amit: I know, but I don’t feel the same for her.

Rahul: But you two are great friends.

Amit: I already love someone else.

Rahul: What? Don’t say it’s Liza.

I kept quite but my silence answered his question.

Rahul: You are so fucked up, I don’t even know what to say……

Amit: I am going to explain her.

I got up, ignoring some more piece of advice from Ravi. I knocked on her door. She came out after a minute.

Amit: I got your letter.

Was it an illusion or her lips just quivered?

Jyoti: Amit, I….

Amit: No, don’t say anything

Jyoti: Let me explain……..

Amit: No, listen. I respect your feelings and everything. But I don’t feel the same for you, I never had, I never will. I didn’t know when you started thinking about me like this.

Jyoti: Please, can’t you give it a chance? she was visibly crying now. One thing that made me most uncomfortable was to see a girl cry. It’s so hard to find the right words to soothe a girl. But I had to be straight, this has to end.

Amit: “Jyoti” I love someone else.

Jyoti: Oh… I…I…”

I couldn’t make out what she was saying but she was definitely crying a lot louder now.

Amit: I m leave now, I hope you will forget this.

I turned around to leave, I caught words like life, dedication and love, I could hear her crying on the doorway but I didn’t care to listen. I know I should have stayed, should have calmed her down, should have explained, but somewhere, I had become insensitive to everything, everything except Liza, and her voice.

I found Rahul standing on my apartment’s door. I knew I had to face his flak.

Rahul: I don’t even want to talk to you anymore…..

That night, for the first time, I felt fear and insecurity. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she rejects me just like I did? What if she is committed? What if she is married? Does she feel the same about me? Will we be compatible? Why was she tensed the last time we talked? What if she stops talking to me? The last question haunted me all night. I dreaded about not hearing her voice. It was insane but I was addicted to it.

PS: This post is the continuation of ‘Her Voice’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/her-voice-part-i/

Her Voice Part I

Her Voice Part I

Her Voice, is all that I could heard now. Sometime I feel like I am getting addicted to her. Days pass by and the nights crawl on, but I couldn’t cease to think about her voice. It’s strange we came to know each others name after a month.…..

Amit: So, what’s your name?

Liza: Hmmm, everyone calls me Liza!, so I think you can call me that.

Amit: Hi Liza, I am Amit, it’s nice meeting you.

Liza: Meeting on the phone, huh? she giggled

I made her laugh, it just made my day.

We have been talking for a month, it’s strange to talk to a stranger, she said.

It’s strange, haa I laughed.

We continued to talk about all the useless things. The calls which were once made twice a week turned into once a day. But I soon started to feel that this was something more. I was getting attached to her. My mind seemed to be possessed by her voice all the time. All I cared was that I talk to her.

Rahul: What are you doing man?

Amit: Huh I was lost in the conversation I just had.

Rahul: Man… why are wasting ur time on this girl, what’s her name nway?

Amit: “Liza!”

Rahul: What? Seriously Liza!! What kind of name is this?

Amit: No, it’s Liza!!

Rahul: Listen to me, don’t be so much attached to this Liza! Or whatever

Amit: I think I like her…..

Rahul: What? You are kidding!!

Amit: No, call it infatuation, call it love, I don’t care.

Rahul: How could you, I mean…. You haven’t even seen her

Amit: So what?

Rahul: So what? So what!! She might be, you know, fat or ugly. Maybe she is married and older than you.

Amit: “I love her.”

Rahul: You are insane, I don’t know what else to say.

But I knew that Rahul won’t understand, nobody will. My heart has spoken for itself that it’s not an illusion and my feelings for her are true. I thought it was time to finally meet her.

That afternoon, I called her again.

Liza: “hello”

Amit: Hey! I hav something to say.

God, I was nervous! I was sweating, my throat was sand dry and my voice stammered. I didn’t remember a time when I was so tensed.

Amit: Well! I was thinking, uh… we have been talking for so long.

Liza: Yes, that’s true.

Amit: Well I was think if we could meet sometime, u know.., for a coffee or something.

For an instant I wished the call disconnects. Sometimes in your life, a two second pause seems to stretch for so long that you start to think maybe your life has come to a halt. But all you need to regain control is a…

Liza: Yes…. When

“Oh God, thank you” I said to myself.

Amit: Great, I will tell you the place and time…..

Liza: Ok, no problem.

We talked for another fifteen minutes, but I sensed, somewhere, that enthusiasm was missing in her. She replied and talked all the time normally but I was so used to her irrepressible voice, that I knew something was up. I refrained myself from asking her, thinking maybe it would become too personal.

To be continued……..

PS: Photo Credit :: Google

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – V

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – V

Its been a difficult time for him. He is just getting soaked in the feeling of being away from her. A cold fear of loneliness has grabbed him. The life seems so dull to him and he is completely unaware of her actions. He browses the Internet to see her profile all night thereafter just looking at her picture running his hands on the computer screen right at her face as if touching her cheeks just to tell her how much he cares for her.

It’s been not even a day and he is going nuts – Life seems so tough today for him. So uncertain, so empty and feeling of being lonely suddenly grabbed his mind. He scans through his cell phone number of times just to see if she called… every time the text message buzzes he gets excited to see if its her… but all in vain. Rest of the world is with him people who dint spoke to him over the years called him today – but still he is so depressed. How the day passed by he wonders – it felt as if he was just sitting in one corner of his room and the sun raised and settled. How the evening lights got turned on. He went out in evening to meet some old buddies even in their presence – there was a thought he kept feeling that – yeah there is something missing… terribly missing. He saw her online on the social network site. She was even online on chat – but because of his commitment to her of not to approach her till a week made resisted him to even say a HI. She kept playing some of the online games – he even helped her gain some extra points. It seemed to him as if he was doing his duties but never felt like ignoring her completely. The thought of ignoring her is devastating for him.

PS:: This post is the continuation of ‘200 Day of Silence’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/200-days-of-silence-part-1/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/200-day-of-silence-part-ii/ 

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/200-day-of-silence-part-iii/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/03/200-day-of-silence-part-iv/

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – IV

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – IV

But the coming few days will not be so easy for him – as he sneaks in a corner of the dark room to wipe his continuous tears from his eyes. He feels so empty – so shallow about his feelings – the tears which were rolling down his eyes were now dried out. That shitty feeling within him rests for long – he wants to cry out loud but simply cant – instead he just stars thinking what went wrong! He figures out that how anxious he got to spend some time with her to top the list of her priorities. But he forgot to understand its been just few months he knows her and there is great deal of things he needs to know about this girl he is blindly in love with. He analyses that he got way too involved with her thoughts running in his mind. Right from day one he has been thinking about how to win her heart and how to make her feel special and be with her.

His heart is broken but he knows that broken hearts can be mended. He is pretty confident that one days she might just realise that he is really serious for her feelings and desires. He wants to fulfil her every dream and desires. But also be a watchdog in her life without interfering too much in her life.

He knows the key to happiness is not expecting too much from her but still he fails to understand that the love he is been looking for might not be available with her. He is still persistent on his emotional drive. He wants to give her time to figure out if she misses him in the coming few days – to an extent that they might like to spend time together. For this he ensures that he doesn’t bother hers at all with any kind of communication directly between them, He knows its going to be difficult since the time he hanged up on her he has written few messages to her and saved them in his drafts .

Its like a quest for him and he doesn’t knows how to react – he starts to stammer and chuckles during the conversation with her.. She is a great person at heart and he is still willing to go out of his way any day for the love of his life he is now just waiting for the right time.

All he knows that she is way to special for him and he loves her a lot and would do anything to see her happy!

PS:: This post is the continuation of ‘200 Day of Silence’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/200-days-of-silence-part-1/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/200-day-of-silence-part-ii/ 

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/200-day-of-silence-part-iii/

FLASH BACK PART – IV

FLASH BACK PART – IV

Oct 29 2009

I called her up in the morning she dint pick up the call. I tried many times I could not reach her. I started getting worried. And got paranoid so kept trying she dint pick up the call. Later at three in the noon she called me, and apologized for not answering the call I yelled at her but then I heard a thud as if she fell down and got worried. I was not able to reach her for some hours and then she called me again. She said that she fell down from the swing and her mobile was not working properly and she had given it for repair.

Oct 27 2009

She called me at twelve, and said “HAPPY anniversary honey” I said thanks a lot and we spoke about our relationship till two or three o clock. But I sensed her coughing a lot and also sounding really weak. I dint want to upset her so I dint ask her about it. We kept talking and I said ok I am going to sleep I have got a match in morning. I am sorry Amit. Gunnite! She sounded sad when she said bye, but I dint say anything. And we met in the evening I was only boasting to her about my match entirely and I dint even ask her how she was and all that.

Oct 27 2004

It was after tuition that she came near me. We used to go home together pushing the cycle. In the 4 years we had become really best friends and I felt that we had gone a tad more than that. But I dint say anything. While walking she said,”sri I need to tell you something, rather talk to you about it” saying this she pulled my hand. Sure she thought it was romantic but my cycle fell down. She said, “There is something I have been feeling lately. And I don’t know what it is. I mean I think I have crossed the limits by my heart and become too close to you” I started smiling and saying something but she interrupted “no let me finish please. I think about you all the time and always for everything, you are the one guy I speak to this much apart from my dad. And I don’t know what to name this relationship but it’s not restricted to friendship. Love seems too awkward considering we are too young. I am sorry I don’t know how to express myself. I just feel,” I kept my finger on her lips and said, “yes, I love you too Amit”. Tears were filled in her eyes she was so happy and jumping with joy. This got me since I was not so attractive. She looked like an angel just even more beautiful.

PS: This post is the continuation of ‘FLASH BACK’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st , 2nd & 3rd part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2014/12/23/flash-back-part-i/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/flash-back-part-ii/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/flash-back-part-iii/

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – III

200 DAY OF SILENCE PART – III

And one day he finally finds some courage to share his feelings with her – how he feels way to special for her and wants to spend the rest of his life time with her. Not considering anything about his past and nothing about the future but just the present state of affairs – his sub conscious warns him though about the consequences he might land up himself but he doesn’t fears anything and goes out and tells her whatever he has in mind. She takes time to understands – but doesn’t reacts the way he expected. Though he is disappointed a little but doesn’t reacts strongly – he sees a light of optimism in her response. The confusion she has been resting over the days – she becomes way too normal with him but he is still unable to gauge the situation. He soon becomes impatient and goes out of the way to woo her. He shows her the concern he has for her, he shows her that he wants to spend more and more time with her. She runs his mind 24/7 even in his dreams – when he is working – he finds it difficult to focus – this is the power of love! Life which was like piece of cake for him couple of days ago now seems way to difficult and complicated with no ray of hope for him.

He counts on his actions – he becomes way too cautious of his actions for her. He doesn’t wants to look too caring at the same time wants to ensure that she is safe and sound. He wants to ensure that she keeps her self-fit and fine but he can’t go out of his way to extend her his help. He knows she has a huge friends circle – he can’t mingle with her friends – to bring into the notice of everyone that there is something cooking up between the two. He feels like messaging her most of the time – just to know what is she upto or does she misses him the way he does her. He doesn’t wants too look like a Chipku. He gets excited when she spends some quality time with him listening to his words and his stories. His expectations for her drops – he expects nothing from her but just a little time from her – just the feeling for him in her thoughts. He just wants her to know that he misses her a lot. He wants to dedicate few romantic songs to her and wishes they could simply listen to those beautiful songs which suddenly mean a lot to him. Her response his not so great for this. Instead he decided to text her the lyrics of all these beautiful songs – she doesn’t even reads them and thinks its just a forward and keeps her cell aside. Poor guy doesn’t even knows how to react.- he is not bothered with this behavior of hers  – for the one you love you are so blind in their charisma – that you simply ignore those negativity about them to shower them with your love.

PS:: This post is the continuation of ‘200 Day of Silence’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part can check it out here.

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/200-days-of-silence-part-1/

https://syedajazahmednazirdiary.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/200-day-of-silence-part-ii/