That evening, Rahul came back to my place, to try to convince me again. But this time I already had a lead.
Rahul: You asked her out?
Rahul: And she said yes?
Rahul: That’s fine then. But you will promise me one thing, if she is not your type, you will forget her
I nodded but I didn’t say yes. Maybe I could forget her, but will I ever be able to forget her voice. Its imprints would always remain on my mind. Nothing in the world mattered to me more than her voice.
I was brought back to reality by the doorbell. The postman was standing with a letter in his hand.
Rahul: I will get it…. Hey, it’s from Jyoti
Amit: Why would she send me a letter I told myself.
Rahul: Who knows, but pretty girls have a right to do anything.
Well, Jyoti was pretty. In fact she was one the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. We had known each other for two years, We use to be good friends but our interaction started getting limited in the last few days, because I spent my entire free time, either thinking about Liza! or remembering her voice.
I opened the letter, but I had no idea what it was about.
I know it seems weird to send a letter to you, but I didn’t have the courage to tell you what I am going to say, face to face, or on phone. Amit, we know each other for two years, but I do not why, every time I see you, I feel something else. At first I thought it was mere infatuation but I am still not able to convince myself, not able to believe, not able to lie to the fact that I am in love. I never thought this would dawn on me someday and I would have such feelings. I first thought that I shouldn’t take the first step, but then how could I tell you how I feel. Endless questions kept running through my mind, how will you react, do you share the same feelings for me…… but one thing was certain, I love you and only this thing gave me strength. It’s so easy to love someone but so difficult to express it and that’s why I am writing this letter…. I don’t know what to expect….
“Dude” It was Rahul’s voice which brought me back from the shock.
“I… oh this is ridiculous!”
Rahul: “What? Are you in your senses Arnav? This is Jyoti we are talking about.”
Amit: I know, but I don’t feel the same for her.
Rahul: But you two are great friends.
Amit: I already love someone else.
Rahul: What? Don’t say it’s Liza.
I kept quite but my silence answered his question.
Rahul: You are so fucked up, I don’t even know what to say……
Amit: I am going to explain her.
I got up, ignoring some more piece of advice from Ravi. I knocked on her door. She came out after a minute.
Amit: I got your letter.
Was it an illusion or her lips just quivered?
Jyoti: Amit, I….
Amit: No, don’t say anything
Jyoti: Let me explain……..
Amit: No, listen. I respect your feelings and everything. But I don’t feel the same for you, I never had, I never will. I didn’t know when you started thinking about me like this.
Jyoti: Please, can’t you give it a chance? she was visibly crying now. One thing that made me most uncomfortable was to see a girl cry. It’s so hard to find the right words to soothe a girl. But I had to be straight, this has to end.
Amit: “Jyoti” I love someone else.
Jyoti: Oh… I…I…”
I couldn’t make out what she was saying but she was definitely crying a lot louder now.
Amit: I m leave now, I hope you will forget this.
I turned around to leave, I caught words like life, dedication and love, I could hear her crying on the doorway but I didn’t care to listen. I know I should have stayed, should have calmed her down, should have explained, but somewhere, I had become insensitive to everything, everything except Liza, and her voice.
I found Rahul standing on my apartment’s door. I knew I had to face his flak.
Rahul: I don’t even want to talk to you anymore…..
That night, for the first time, I felt fear and insecurity. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she rejects me just like I did? What if she is committed? What if she is married? Does she feel the same about me? Will we be compatible? Why was she tensed the last time we talked? What if she stops talking to me? The last question haunted me all night. I dreaded about not hearing her voice. It was insane but I was addicted to it.
PS: This post is the continuation of ‘Her Voice’ short story series and those who haven’t read the 1st part can check it out here.